Funny that this questions popped in mind while I was viewing a wedding album of a friend. She was absolutely gorgeous (I think any bride for that matter should be stunning during her big day), and I can't help but notice the look of sheer happiness and pure bliss radiating through her eyes. The clichéd quote, "a picture is worth a thousand words" became an instant reality.
And then there's me. I know, with conviction, that wedding bells won't ring for me anytime soon. I would be lucky if wedding bells would indeed toll for me at all. I am hoping that perhaps in the next 5 to 10 years, I would indeed, as they say, "get married and settle down." I know, it's quite some time in the distant future but I would certainly want to get there - exchange our vows of undying commitment and love, all for the world to witness. (I know it sound's kinda cheesy and all, but I guess that's LOVE.)
But for now, I guess I'll just have to settle for a dose of reality. That I'm single and be contented with the answers and replies of my married friends give when I ask them, "well, how does it feel to be finally married?"
__________________________
P.S. I'm posting here a song of Westlife which I would definitely want to be played on the biggest day of my life...
I'm just amazed how much love our hearts can pour no matter how much we've hurt trying to find it and keep it. I'm even more amazed as to how I have kept my sanity despite the number of times love has failed me. Perhaps it's the optimistic side of me that keeps me going and going after it after I have suffered from love. And then, I remembered this song. It reminded me that no matter how much pain our earthly lives will experience, there is only one love that will redeem and captivate us. And if so happens that you find this love, I'm sure you will never experience pain again... that is the Love of our savior Jesus Christ.
Deeply in Love
Hillsong
In my life You've heard me say I love you How do I show you it's true
Hear my heart, it longs for more of you I've fallen deeply in love with you
You have stolen my heart I'm captivated by you Never will you and I part I've fallen deeply in love with you
You and I, together forever Nothing can, stand in the way My love for you, grows stronger each new day. I've fallen deeply in love with you
You have stolen my heart I'm captivated by you Never will you and I part I've fallen deeply in love with you
Jesus, you've stolen my heart I'm captivated by you Never will you and I part I've fallen deeply in love with you
After all that has happened to me in the past few months, I can say that I have been into the "future" mode currently. I have been immersed into the NOW that I forgot what I want to do in the future and to make use of NOW I made a list of things what I want to do in the near and not-so-near future. First, I have decided to seriously consider my application for migration to a foreign land. My dad was bugging me about this since time immemorial and I simply pushed myself to follow what he wanted without even having the gusto to leave our country for something good. Perhaps, all I really need was a jolt from somewhere or something and electrocuted did I get. Well, I won't go into the details but I am saying that I'm over with round one and I'm on to round two. Well, guess my departure from Philippines will be faster than what I expected it to be. And I can't wait. Secondly, I am taking the CFA exam this December. Finally, after years and months of trying to convince myself (or simply for the lack of monetary support) I mustered enough courage to try it out. I can say that I am enjoying studying again. And I know I'll pass. Rush level 1, can't wait to get to level 2. (*Cheshire cat smile*) hehehehe Lastly, I'm giving myself a break from expecting too much out of the dreaded L word. I have been into it and been dumped. I can't say I don't love that person anymore but I can say I am moving on. Wow, it is indeed a relief to say that. The pain sucks big time especially if you thought both of you will get stuck for a lifetime of "forever" but it didn't work. The optimistic me got cannibalized again. Well, charge it to experience. I am moving on. Well if the L word lands on my doorstep again, bet you I will still open the door. After all that futurama stuff, all I can say ---- I can't wait for the FUTURE to become NOW. Until then, I'll wait and just work hard for it. Wish me luck, guys.
I
have to admit, I am going through some difficult times right now. I hate the
world. I hate a lot of things about it. Most of all, I hate someone. I hate
this feeling - HATE. I don't want to feel hate but I have to, in order for me
not to feel the pain. I posted a note around four months ago declaring my
status and stand in life. I was ready and willing to take the risks. And
to quote:
As
always in life, there is a CHOICE. And my choice, LOVE is worth all the risk.
In the film Y Tu Mama Tambien, one of the characters said that "Life
is like a surf, so give yourself away to the sea." Somehow, this is
how I feel right now. One cannot be involved with LOVE and not surrender
everything to it. For if it not, that would be entirely selfish or worse it is
a complete lie.
And this brings me to a realization, I was daring enough to take part of the
benefits of love therefore I must also be brave enough to take all of its
consequences including all the pain and hurt. It's just sad that after all that
had happened, everything was a lie. It was all a lie. And I was fooled. I had fallen
as a victim into a trap that I helped build. It's just sad.
So right now, I guess, I just have to start again. It's valentine's day today
and we had so many plans. Not just for today but for a lifetime. It pains me to
think about it. All the places we planned to go to, all the things we were
supposed to do.
But it's really time for me to move on. As an old adage says: It does not do
to dwell on the past and forget to live. So life has to go on. And I have
to start now. Now.
_____________________
And
to YOU. Thank you - for teaching me
valuable lessons even if our story lasted for just a few pages. I hope you will
find what you are looking for. I hope you find you. And when you find you,
don't be afraid to love again. Just make sure you're ready to really give your
all and not just go with what your emotions tell you. Learn to open up yourself
to love. Love fully, entirely, genuinely. That way, you wouldn't miss yourself
again because you will find yourself in the person that you love.
Your faithfullness endures always
Where mountains fall and reason fails
And You calm the raging seas
And You calm the storms in me, again
All I know is I find rest in You
All I know is I find rest in You
My heart will praise throughout the night
Where singing seems a sacrifice
Your grace is all I need
Your grace is all I need
__________________________________
Postscript: In you O God do I find rest. Amidst all the chaos and haste, you calm me. Direct my paths and ways, Father that I may be worthy of receiving the gift of eternal life.
There's a laugh in my eyes.
There's a waltz in my walk.
And it's been such a long time, Since there was hope in my talk.
If you never knew
What it is that's new. It's you.
'Cause when your hands are in mine,
You set a fire that everyone can see
And it's burning away
Every bad memory.
To tell you the truth
If it's something new. Baby it's you.
It's you in the morning.
It's you in the night.
A beautiful angel came down
To light up my life.
The world's a different place
Where nothing's too hard to say.
And nothing's to hard to do
Never too much to go through.
To tell you the truth
Everything that's new. Baby it's you.
It's you in the morning.
It's you in the night.
A beautiful angel came down
To light up my life.
My life, my life
Ohh
So if I get to grow old (oh if I get to grow old)
With many years behind me (many years behind me).
There's only one thing I want (aahh)
One thing I need beside me.
For all that you are,
For everything you do,
For all that you've done,
Just for showing me the truth,
It's been quite sometime since I posted something. I don't even know if someone notice it. I'm just one of those bloggers who try to open a blog, write a few posts, and totally forget about it. I have that sickness ever since. I don't know if I lack time (which I think I do most of the time but if I really contemplate on it, I have plenty of time) or perhaps I'm just simply lazy. Well, that's not going to get me any good. So I better change and continue what I started. Besides, I made some sort of vow that I'm going to maintain this blog. (hehehe)
Back from Australia My last entry was posted on November 11, 2009. Exactly eight days before I left for Australia. I was assigned by my company (then, story about this later) after a client requested my services for a due diligence assistance in Sydney. I thought the job was not going to push through after two weeks of stressful email exchange between my bosses and the client as to the terms of engagement in my contract. After gazillions of editing and tons of compromising, the parties agreed mutually on November 19, 2009 at around 10 in the morning, Manila time. I left for Sydney, 8:30 pm the same day. (Call it stressful, I vowed never to leave the country again in such a hasty condition, good thing my VISA and passport was ready). I arrived in Sydney around 8:30 a.m (local time, 5:30 a.m. Manila Time) and immediately proceeded to work. I stayed in Sydney for around 26 days (2 days of leisure and 24 days of pure work from 9am to 2am). We were working on such a tight deadline that even Sundays were not spared. I'm telling you guys, never engage in such a working environment. You''ll just burn yourself out (meaning less efficiency and productivity) and learn to hate your boss (which is really really bad, hehehe). Nonetheless, I enjoyed my brief stint in merry-'ol-Sydney. I got to meet Desiree and Jade (awww, I miss you two already), two of my closest friends in college already working there. I got to see Koalas, Kangaroos, and Emus in live action (and close range). I got to climb the zenith of the Sydney Harbor Bridge (the view was breathtaking). I got to watch Wicked the Musical (the best part of my stay in Sydney). I got to walk the sandy shores of Bondi Beach. I got to experience Australia, at least. And finally, my return trip home was also as hasty as my flight going there. I arrived in Manila, December 15, 2009 at 7:00 pm. It was one trip I can't forget (for both the good and the not so good experiences, hehehe). I'm sure I'm going back there someday 'mate!
Moving Forward from P&A I officially resigned from my job after three years and one month and nineteen days. I tendered my one month's notice, much to the shock and dismay of our partner, on December 15, 2009 effective a month later. Our partner ("the BOSS") tried me talk me out of it but my mind was already made up. I signed with a KPO (Knowledge Process Outsourcing) firm with global operations spanning 4 continents in 6 countries servcing clients globally. As of this posting I'm entering my third week with the company and so far, so good. (Keeping my fingers crossed! :D)
Holidays Cheers Eight days after I arrived from Australia I left for Iloilo for my annual Christmas Break. It was really really good to be back home. It was again time for reunions (both family and friends) and almost every night (except for christmas eve and new year's eve), I was out with different groups of people whom I've touched base with. Christmas is indeed my favorite time of the year. Though I know it's the most expensive time of the year (you just can't imagine how many gifts I dispensed that season), still the experience, warmth, and cheer is priceless. It's just sad that my vacation only lasted for 9 days and I was back in Manila at the evening of January 1st.
Final Note I'm praying that 2010 will be a good year. I pray that God will continue to bless and provide for us and this nation. On a personal level, I pray that God will continue "expand my territory", bless me, my family and loved ones with good health, and direct my relationship and connections unto HIS ways. I'm thankful for 2009 and everything that comes with it. And I'm looking ahead with the love, hope, and faith in my heart. For now, I leave you this prayer.
Holy Father, God of our yesterdays, our today, and our tomorrows. We praise You for Your unequaled greatness. Thank You for the year behind us and for the year ahead.
Help us in Your new year, Father, to fret less and laugh more. To teach our children to laugh by laughing with them. To teach others to love by loving them.
Knowing, when Love came to the stable in Bethlehem, He came for us. So that Love could be with us, and we could know You. That we could share Love with others.
Help us, Father, to hear Your love song in every sunrise, in the chriping of sparrows in our backyards, in the stories of our old folks, and the fantasies of our children.
Help us to stop and listen to Your love songs, so that we may know You better and better. We rejoice in the world You loved into being. Thank You for another new year and for new chances every day.
We pray for peace, for light, and for hope, that we might spread them to others. Forgive us for falling short this past year. We leave the irreparable past in your hands, and step out into the unknown new year knowing You will go with us. We accept Your gift of a new year and we rejoice in what's ahead, depending on You to help us do exactly what You want..
I say it again, we rejoice!
In Jesus name, Amen.
______________ a new year's prayer taken from here. P.S. I will post more pictures soon.
VINCE. Financial Consultant/Auditor by day. Food, Photography, History, Trivia, Philippines, Travel, Health, Music, Literary enthusiast (well) most of the time. (I say, too much on my plate...)
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